Nope, Everything Isn't Good

Dear Friends -

Heading out to the trails with my camera is different than nearly every other experience in my life. Unlike “normal” activities, I get out there utterly without expectations - nearly always. Very, very rarely I’ll go looking for a particular bird: maybe a Bald Eagle or a Black-capped Vireo. Typically, though, my point in going out is simply to see what is there. It’s about being present rather than looking for what’s present.

People ask me what “Interrupted Walk” means. The term is intended to reflect that my primary purpose is to go for a walk, and then every now and again, a bird pops up and interrupts my wandering and wondering. Walking in this way frees the mind; opportunities open up for considering things from different perspectives. Unexpected (just plain strange!) connections get made. It’s definitely not a trance state, but it’s unquestionably a shift in how attention gets allocated, and my awareness is focused powerfully inwards even, or perhaps despite, my hyper attuned attention to birdsong or a burst of colorful movement.

When the experience wraps up, one thing is always the same. I never, EVER, regret having gone out. Not once, even the tiniest bit, have I come away from a morning’s excursion and regretted that I spent the time that way. “But what about the days when you don’t get any good shots?” The question misses the mark. I don’t have a quota I’m trying to fill or a something I’m trying to take away. Simply being in nature, reflecting silently (sometimes a little mumbling, if I’m honest), and taking the time to appreciate the universe and my place in it are… Enough.

In an entirely different context, I was lovingly asked the other day, “Is everything good?” I reflexively started to answer the way I expect we all do when asked one of these socially prescribed questions. Instead I paused and thought for a moment. And then I answered, “No. Not everything is good. But enough is good.”

Perhaps I’m being overly literal. It wouldn’t be the first such accusation. Perhaps I’m being unnecessarily honest. Any time you answer a socially normative question with something other than the socially normative answer, it creates a bit of dissonance for both parties. But it was important to me to be both honest and accurate in my response. Words should be more than just throw-aways, even if they are rote recitations.

I’ve mulled this question for several days now. Duh. As I say, this simple, common question is something of a throw-away, but it also has a challenging aspect to it that I find not so great. When you ask this question, you’re pushing the person into one of these categories:

• No. And now you’ve reminded me of x, y, and z that aren’t great. And from here

  • I either lie and say that everything is wonderful. We call that Social Media….

  • I tell the truth, and it puts us both in the awkward and unwanted position of now having to talk about these challenges.

• Yes. And now I’m (probably) lying to both you and myself ;)

There’s a long tradition, thousands of years old, that gives us some insight here. I mentioned last week that these weeks Torah is telling the story of the Israelites’ progress from slavery to mature freedom. Ask Moses, or the people, or God, “Is everything good?”

• Moses would tell his father-in-law Jethro that he’s exhausted from spending whole days judging disputes between the people

• The people would complain about the food, the water, even Moses being late coming down from the mountain

• And God tires of the complaining to the point that another human wipe-out is threatened

No, clearly not everything is good. But enough is good! In just a few weeks, we’ll celebrate our Passover seders. We’ll tell the story of the Exodus and feast and sing. And if there is a single word that lives on memorably through the year and through the years from a seder, it’s “dayenu.” The word translates as “enough for us.” We’re reminded of the myriad blessings we receive. We’re reminded of how these blessings get piled on top of one another, building and building. And we’re reminded that a good life - a rich, full, contented life - doesn’t demand that everything be good. Enough should be good.

I could go on from here and quote dozens of learned sages and provide excerpts from all the weighty tomes to drive home the point. Instead I’ll share one of my favorite classic Jewish jokes. Think about it the next time you inquire how someone is doing.

Schwartz and Greenberg have lunch at the same deli every Tuesday. They’ve been going for years and years. The waiter knows them. He’s been waiting on them for all those years.

He brings them their regular orders. They start to eat. He comes back to the table a few minutes later and asks them,

“Is anything OK???”

Dayenu!

Be Grounded. Fly High.

The Avian Rebbe